Celebrity Justice
Will O.J. Use Rhyming Defense?

"If it doesn't fit, you must acquit" is quite possibly the most quoted courtroom line in pop culture history. And if O.J. Simpson stands trial on the litany of charges he's currently facing in Las Vegas, he might need another clever quip to help keep him out of jail ... yet again.
O.J. Simpson
Although they're not qualified to argue at a jury trial, the good people at Maxim have come up with a list of possible phrases the Juice might use. Our favorites include: "If the items are mine, then what is the crime?" and "If you plunder my riches, I might have to kill some white bitches," and "If you take my memorabilia, I might just have to killia."

Couldn't have said it better ourselves.



Tags: o.j. simpson, O.j.Simpson

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(Page 1 of 5) | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Most Recent | Next 15 Comments

1. This guy is a waste of time......and skin.....human skin.

Posted at 12:14PM on Sep 28th 2007 by jamtor

2. this guys an embarrassment to society

Posted at 12:15PM on Sep 28th 2007 by cj

3. It was just a sting to get back my thing that they took off the wall of the bada bing...

Posted at 12:18PM on Sep 28th 2007 by Mikey

4. Has the TMZ site has turned into a celebrity losers only site? What's up? No real celebrities will pose for you? Ask the photogs to find someone with a career for a change. Right now it's about 10 losers for every one real star.

Posted at 12:22PM on Sep 28th 2007 by blazeon

5.

DEMOGRAPHICS HAVED CHANGED;
I THINK YOU'LL HANG.




Posted at 12:23PM on Sep 28th 2007 by OR THIS?

6. "If the stuff belonged to The Juice... You must turn him loose!"

"If OJ didn't aim the gun... You must let him run!"

Posted at 12:24PM on Sep 28th 2007 by Vin

7. When you pull a gun,
There IS no place to run.

Posted at 12:29PM on Sep 28th 2007 by Rolex-less OJ

8. I DON'T KILL & I DON'T STEAL
I'LL BE AQUITTED
YOU KNOW THE DEAL!

Posted at 12:47PM on Sep 28th 2007 by Laurie

9. Did howard k stern set oj up to get the heat off him and his lovie? why did riccio say when asked how he knew the 2 guys were in the hotel room and wanting to sell oj's things....i got a call from so and so and howard k stern...hmmm... its not nice to juice the juice howard..

Posted at 12:43PM on Sep 28th 2007 by INQUEST

10. I thought we were cool til I met up with the fool.

He had stole the sex photo of me and Toto.

He said he knew Dorothy and she didn't mind,

But I said, hey wait, that's my favorite with me from behind.

Next thing I knew, they were up against the wall,

And fill bags with everything, even the Joe Montana ball.

I had only gone up to the room for a drink.

But once again I find myself back in the clink.

Posted at 12:54PM on Sep 28th 2007 by Mikey

11. BECAUSE YOU ARE A CLOWN,
YOU'LL BE GOIN' DOWN.

Posted at 12:53PM on Sep 28th 2007 by DECAPITATOR BOY

12. How about the Chewbacca defense?

Posted at 1:08PM on Sep 28th 2007 by Wookie defense

13. I murdered two
So whatcha gonna do?
I'm a celebrity
So you know I'm gonna go free

Posted at 1:03PM on Sep 28th 2007 by Ooba Gooba

14. 'J' don't feel so well ...

Christie, run like h*ll!

Posted at 1:04PM on Sep 28th 2007 by The Pressure's Building ...

15. Some of these ryhmes are really funny. Look at that smug little smirk on his face. He knew that glove wouldn't fit because he stopped taking his arthritis meds and his hands had swelled. Such a stupid idea to put that glove on him in the first place. Even if it had fit, gloves that are not custom made are sized to fit millions of people, small med, large, duh! Nice way to let a murderer walk.

Posted at 1:04PM on Sep 28th 2007 by Leela

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